Apple English

There are plenty of variations of the English language. Differing dialects abound not just around the world, but sometimes across the street. British English and American English are the two most famous brands. There’s the Queens English, BBC English, Spanglish and more. But I think there’s a new, modern take on this theme. Apple English. Yes, Apple the tech company. It’s a new and unmistakeable twist that is evident from presenters at their product shows announcements, and their instructors on the new Fitness+ program.

Obviously there’s some hometown Californian in there. But even when spoken by a cockney sounding Brit or true Texan southerner, Apple employees seem to have developed a twang of their own. A certain amount of inspiration for the forever sickeningly positive Apple English seems to have been inspired by the Fast Show. There are specific pauses and drawls in the spoken Apple language that I hear nowhere else. Are you unsure about any of this? Well, you’ll just have to listen a bit more closely next time you tune into an Apple Event.

The photo is not relevant to the essay. It’s tough to photograph spoken language. But it is a nice Christmas scene, taken prior to London entering Tier 3 restrictions. It was my final London trip of 2020. I look forward to going back in the New Year. Not least because I enjoy visiting the Apple stores in Regent Street and Covent Garden. Although it must be noted, the employees there do not seem to speak Apple English. There is clearly room for improvement in the training program…

2 thoughts on “Apple English

  1. I confess that I do miss visiting London.

    As for Apple English, I guess I have never noticed. Of course, if my niece knew I had even looked at an Apple product, let alone listened to an Apple spiel, she would have me booted out of the clan.


    1. I’m really sorry to hear that. Have you looked into all your options? Is it possible to trade in your current niece for a better version? It certainly sounds like she needs upgrading.

      And I too miss London, for now. It has to be said, once things relax a little, I may find it easier to resume London visits than yourself. But I look forward to welcoming you back to Blighty one day in the not too distant future.


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