Level 48

Have you watched the Squid Game? It’s Netflix’s biggest ever hit, a Korean series about a several hundred people trying to survive to get to the next round of the game. Not seen it? Picture a couple of dozen ISIS fighters dressed up as Teletubbies in a giant Big Brother house and given lots of contestants to play with. It’s bizarre and there is some extreme violence – stuff that makes Clockwork Orange seem tame.

We are all playing a version of the Squid Game, but it’s one none of us can win. It’s more like Space Invaders – you just try and get to as high a level as possible before the end comes, and hope the end is not too Squid Game-esque. The only prize is to get a go at the next level. Today, I’ve successfully completed Level 48, so I will now get to have a crack at 49. I will do my best to complete that one too.

Plenty of people have fallen at this point in the game. Whitney Houston, Al Capone, King Charles I and Harvey Milk all came unstuck at this point. Ethelred the Unready was also seemingly unprepared for the tests and tribulations of Level 48. A trio of famous Mexicans also bit the dust on Level 48. Arturo Beltran Leyva, Alvaro Obregon and Vicente Guerrero. I’ve bested them all. Feel free to raise a glass to toast my achievement. And, of course, my birthday.