There are a number of ways of measuring, defining and describing poverty. You have absolute poverty, relative poverty, cyclical poverty, collective poverty and more. It turns out that there’s a whole load of ways to be poor. I don’t normally consider myself poor. I drive a Mazda, not a Mercedes. I live in a flat, not a mansion. I fly economy, not first. But I’m perfectly content with what I have. I need nothing more.

And then Apple will host an event and release a range of new products, and I suddenly do need more. A new iPhone, an Apple Watch, an iPad or a shiny new Apple TV. I want them all. The latest models. High spec is a must. I went into Apple’s Covent Garden store this week to admire the new iMacs. They let you touch them now too, without having someone spray them straight after. You’re still not allowed to lick them though, no matter how delicious they look in their fruity pastel shades. That’s definitely still a no-no, and gets you a good ticking off by security.

After every Apple Event, I’ll have a look to see if Barclaycard are doing a decent balance transfer rate. Can I extend my mortgage? Who do I need to kill to finance my next big Apple thing? Perhaps I’ll find someone on contractkillings.com who might not be missed so much. Apple poverty is a real thing. Someone should set up a help line. We need support. Apple Lives Matter. Having someone hand out free tissues at the exit to wipe away our tears just won’t cut it.

You can say what you like about Apple. But when it comes to design and marketing, those folks are absolute geniuses.

2 thoughts on “Poverty

    1. Indeed, but there’s a brand of poverty out there for everyone. Dinosaurs, I’m sad to say, have the worst type of poverty: time…. 😬

      (Sadder still to say, I am getting closer to dinosaurhood by the day…)


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