The Roadmap

Ladies and gentleman, we have a roadmap out of this unholy mess. There is light at the end of the tunnel. The promised land is within reach. Boris has spoken, and his words are righteous and bring joy throughout the land. Meh. Who am I kidding. I’ve watched his speech and it looks more like a bloody atlas than a simple roadmap. And this being the UK, there’ll be hundreds of potholes, numerous cul-de-sacs and a ton of roundabouts to be navigated. Anyone who has ever driven here will know just how easy it is to suddenly find yourself driving back in the direction you’ve just come from. With punctured tyres and collapsed suspension.

By at least one measure, we in the UK have the strictest lockdown rules in the developed world. We also have amongst the worst death rates. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned over the last year, it is that national comparisons are a tricky, complicated business. Nonetheless, it will be nice to get back on the road to normal. And we have a route of sorts. A very British roadmap, drawn up by the uk government, providing England, and England alone, with a simple four step plan detailed in five easy to follow steps.

But let’s focus on the good news. Our late April domestic road trip looks doable. Bergerac in June? There’s still a bit of a question mark over that, but we’ll know more by the middle of April. The Hyde Park concert in July? That is looking good. And providing all goes according to plan, holidays in September and October look very promising.

This release from lockdown isn’t going to be considered fast enough by some. I suspect most people will accept lockdown for a little longer. It’s not that much of a hardship. I mean, most people are very clearly not obeying any of the social contact rules anyway, and haven’t been for sometime. Perhaps that’s why the number of infections today edged up slightly, week on week.

But one thing is for certain. I’ve not had a haircut for so long that I now need the services of a shearer, not a barber. But they’re all shut so I’ll do it myself. I bought the clippers in the photo for about £43.99 from Amazon last April. They’re really rather good. I would normally pay about £15 for a cut at a hairdressers, so I needed three uses out of these clippers to make my money back. Tomorrow I will put them to work for the third time.

I’m thinking of really cutting back to the scalp. A Grade 2. The last time I had that cut, it was administered at RAF Halton on the first full day of basic training, back in May 1999. Mrs P isn’t quite so keen on this idea. I will need to be discreet. Stay tuned…

8 thoughts on “The Roadmap

  1. I thought for a moment that it was a torch to find your way out of the Covid cul de sac!
    I have one similar, a wife I mean and she brandishes the shears these days enough to trim the pelt a little. She used to trip the boys hair before they got fancy and wanted “proper hair cuts”. Personally I never liked wearing my hair long so she keeps my mane in check with a snip here and there. You could ask for a similar service, who knows she might even enjoy snipping away some of the past.


    1. The problem is, Mrs P starts attempting to ‘style’ my hair. I have two main issues with this. She hasn’t had a minutes worth of training as a stylist. And my hair does not like to be styled. When I go to the barbers and am asked what I want, I just tell them to keep it as it is….but much shorter.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I bought a season pass to ski at the end of last winter, for this winter. deep discount and all. It seems I’ll need to see if they will put it toward next winter because I’m not up to bat for a jab until well after the skiing is over this winter. The flight has to be used by December so maybe a little ‘rock and mud’ skiing next winter.
    I was conferring with one my ski buds this morning. The current plan is to plan a water ski weekend in July. Even the youngest of the crew should be jabbed up by then.
    As to my hair , what little there is, I’m still having Karen the barber cut what’s left. She needs to eat, she’s only human. I’m getting it cut less but giving her twice as much-the eating thing again.


    1. I’m considerably more confident of a getaway in September or October. But even the summer should be a fine one. Theatre, galleries et al. And whilst I cannot ski on either water or snow, I look forward to ice skating at Somerset House at Christmas.

      I had a French lady called Annalise cut my hair in a local hairdressers for years. She gave a good scalp massage at the end. The shop closed down just before the pandemic, and I’ve no idea where she’s gone. So I’ll need to find a new one eventually. Till then, I do it myself. Truth be told, I do need Mrs P to finish it off…


  3. Ever since I retired… quite a few years ago… I have shaved my head. But when the pandemic started I decided that I would let the hair grow until I would once again be able to travel. Nearly a year has passed, and my hair is long enough to tie in a pony tail. In April I will take the clippers and shear it all off. I will be glad to be rid of it. I don’t know how women can tolerate long hair.


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